~Somethings wroug with me~

okie....i was having a mood swing just now......and i cant help to talk to myself again...whats happening to me?.....this all started last month......was it cuz i was lonely?....what the hack?......I WANT HELP!!!!......i calm myself sometimes but i feel it wont stay away that long....I'm happy sometimes and the next thing i know it....i feeling like crying....or breaking things.....this happen(I'm my theory)...started with this GUY(i will call him X and i'm not going to say how we meet and where we meet)....okie X.....well you can say i liked him alot...even if he hurt me alot that time....but i forgave him....then one day,he just acted so different....he stoped saying the L word and that kinda hurt to.....so we talk(like we're just friends)...that hurt to....that he told me he had a girl friend just last week(i think)....WOW!!....that hurt alot.....i still can get him off my mind....that sucks.....i wanna tell him that i still like him and always like him(i dont say the L word much but only to my friend i say lots of love)...i donno what to do....i wanna forget about him....and just be friend....but how.......I"M A FREAK!THATS WHAT YOU ALL THINK OFF ME RIGHT!!!....but its okie....i'm learning to control it....I seriously need help....SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!....and what the hell am i going to do next year alone....and next year is PMR!!!!!!.....for sure get Panic attack or Nerves break down.....i hate myself.....as you can see....i complain alot......someone please me!!!......I'M CRYING OUT FOR HELP HERE!!!!......I guess no one can hear me.....i'm i the only one in this big world....i dont want to have Panic acttack or what so ever.....HELP!!!!