~Somethings wroug with me~

okie....i was having a mood swing just now......and i cant help to talk to myself again...whats happening to me?.....this all started last month......was it cuz i was lonely?....what the hack?......I WANT HELP!!!!......i calm myself sometimes but i feel it wont stay away that long....I'm happy sometimes and the next thing i know it....i feeling like crying....or breaking things.....this happen(I'm my theory)...started with this GUY(i will call him X and i'm not going to say how we meet and where we meet)....okie X.....well you can say i liked him alot...even if he hurt me alot that time....but i forgave him....then one day,he just acted so different....he stoped saying the L word and that kinda hurt to.....so we talk(like we're just friends)...that hurt to....that he told me he had a girl friend just last week(i think)....WOW!!....that hurt alot.....i still can get him off my mind....that sucks.....i wanna tell him that i still like him and always like him(i dont say the L word much but only to my friend i say lots of love)...i donno what to do....i wanna forget about him....and just be friend....but how.......I"M A FREAK!THATS WHAT YOU ALL THINK OFF ME RIGHT!!!....but its okie....i'm learning to control it....I seriously need help....SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!....and what the hell am i going to do next year alone....and next year is PMR!!!!!!.....for sure get Panic attack or Nerves break down.....i hate myself.....as you can see....i complain alot......someone please me!!!......I'M CRYING OUT FOR HELP HERE!!!!......I guess no one can hear me.....i'm i the only one in this big world....i dont want to have Panic acttack or what so ever.....HELP!!!!

~Lol nothing to say,so just tambak say~

Hi!!!seriously i have nothing to say so i will just talk about random crap....okie....what do you think of the colour pink?....i think the colours gay....when guys wear that colour its even more gay(O.o)....and they'll like pink floppy flamingos...flopping around...haha.....when parents lets their new born son wear pink....it is stated that the sons future love life will be GAY!!!....haha....lets see how many time i say the word GAY....*counting*....4 times^^....haha....now what else to talk about...okie lets talk about flying pigs...haha....seriously i have nothing to talk about....i know i'll find out whats the meaning of gay^^.....*hours later*.....Found it....its.....man to man relationship...haha....okok....i'm bored.....I'm not going to see my friend for two days on the game(T_T)......i'm still a noob on Tales of Pirates....haha....and proud to be one.....maybe i'll get nominated for "King Of Noobs"(KON)....haha....lets talk about another Random thing....*thinking*....okie....err.....i still have no idea.....*thinking*....*hours later*...lets talk about puppies.....i love puppies....my uncle's dog has a litter of puppies again....i think this is the 9th time that dog gave birth to puppies....haha.....i wonder would people have 9 kids or more.....I WANNA KNOW!!!.....TWILIGHT!!!!!!i so wanna watch twilight......EDWARD CULLEN!!!!ROBERT PATTINSON!!!....i'am a Robert Pattinson Freak.....haha.....these days all the movie for young and old has uncensored seances....haha^^.....what wonder what more they'll put in the future^^.....okie....i better stop talking or not i wont stop....haha....cya....

~My Friends~

Hi again!!!....i have loads to tell you about my friends(hehe)okie my first friend i meet in BU3 is Christine Phoa....we were like what the hell when we found out that we have the same name on the frist day(haha)...we laugh together,share secrets and many more...we go crazy....and when i mean crazy...definitions of our crazy is laugh like the worlds is about to end and scream on top of our voice,talk senseless crap....the funny thing is we laugh when theres nothing to laugh at....o yea and one time when we were in centre point Phoa fell into the pond...it made me piss in my pant laughing and till this day i am still laughing haha...and PHOA I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU THIS SATURDAY!!!...i will always love PHOA(not in a lesbian way^^)...the other firend is Catherine....whoa shes so cute(not in a lesbian way,in a puppy cute way)....and shes the one who bullies me a lot like calling me noob....and when shes angry...we dont wanna make her more angry(but i find it cute when shes angry.so shhhh~or i get in to real deep shit)anyways.....we still lover her...haha....I MISS YOU CAT!!!...the other one is Amanda.....haha....shes makes us happy when were sad....shes like our happy pill that we always keep with us and never throw it away.....MISS YOU MANDA.....and those are my friends in BU3....and Racheal or Rachael(which ever it is)...we talk and talk and talk(i wonder how my teachers in sri inai says i'm quiet)MAN!!!....that gurl can really talk....^^...my friend from Sri KDU is Carissa...we hang out alot and also share secrets....I MISS YOU CARI!!...AND my childhood friend SU JIN that i will wright separately...thats all for now...

~Forgotten massage~

yea i forgot again...if any of you guys have panic attack or what so ever you can always check out these sites:

www.nimh.nih.gov
www.adaa.org
www.teenshealth.org
www.panicdisorder.about.com

i wish you all well...^^

~its me again~

HI!!!readers!!!!if your there!!!nevermind....as you all know i forgot my password and my username to my last two blog...........yes I'm forgetful....haha....thats me^^!!!!.....what to say....*thinking what to say*....yea well I'll be writhing in alot...for starters i would talk about....getting a new handphone....and every time i ask my parents...they'll be like "you already have a handphone"."whats wrong with your handphone","we don't want to spend that much money" and on on on it goes....so we end up fighting...and door slamming....but sometimes if feel guilty...i don't know why but i do...i really wit i didn't have this guilt feeling....argh screw it....why do i care....^^....as you know i like to use lots of dotes like this:..........,haha^^...and life cant get any worse.....T_T....i am trying to think that life's great and stuff like that....and its not that easy...and this year i got addict to scaring my hand and the pain feels better then the pain of having a bad life......i hope next year i don't get a nerves break down or a panic attack....i heard one of the symptoms for panic acttacks is shortness of breath...i have been having that off and on three times (O.o) and my mother took me to the doctors....apprently nothings wrong with me BUT i have scoliosis(life cant get any worse)....i have to go back to see another doctor....so thats it for now...so i'll keep my blog updated this time(I Hope) cya ya!...